A while ago, a former facebook friend of mine wrote something along these lines: „I can‘t take non-binary people seriously. They are just attention seekers who reduce the credibility of seriously bi-, homo- or transsexual people.“

I‘ve actually seen several people who are otherwise very relaxed with gay people struggling with the idea that some people don‘t see themselves as either male or female.

A bit more than 30 years ago, I was struggling with the idea that several people thought and said that if you‘re gay, you‘re not really male. Gay men were widely regarded as being somewhere between real men and women. Seeing myself as completely male and still not understanding why the fact that I am sexually attracted to men should in any way diminish my own masculinity, that was a permanent source of irritation.

But obviously the idea that some people don‘t really fit into the strict scheme of being either male or female is not as new as some other people claim today. In fact it‘s incredibly old. And very widely spread. We‘ve just recently found a word for it.

Self-identifying as male, I don‘t understand what it means ot be Non-Binary. I mean, I don‘t tick all the boxes some people make up for assuring real masculinity like enjoying to watch football, being able to whistle on your fingers or opening a beer bottle with a lighter, being sexually attracted to women or similar, but these are the boxes other people set up, not me.

There are a lot of things I don‘t understand and never will. Being pregnant for example. That doesn‘t stop me from offering my seat on the tram to an obviously pregnant person. And a lot of people who can‘t understand what it means to be pregnant do that, too. So we‘re selectively very able to respect qualities of other people we don‘t understand.

One of the few things I understand about being Non-Binary is that it is an umbrella term. Identifying as partially female and male at the same time, not at all or fluctuating between that are obviously not the same things. Still it‘s good to use just one word for it. It‘s less another drawer to put people into but a reminder that these drawers never really fit. And I am grateful for Non-Binary visibility. For my own sake, because it makes it easier for me to be out as a gay man, completely cis-male although maybe not ticking all the boxes other people set up. But also for their own sake, because everyone deserves to be accepted with their very own gender identity.

Or as we say at the Wyrd Thing: Inclusivity makes things better for everybody.